I got this hilarious email on CollarMe today:

Greetings Goddess my humble respect and devotion to you.I dont feel worthy to look at your profile or to send you this message you are so superior and im so low just a pathetic inferior creature on this earth to be a doormat under your boots.Im a pure masochist and i have an offer that will probably sound wierd but please take time to think about it.Im not rich but i have alot of saving for this.Im ready to give you my entire bank account that have about 38k if you destroy my eyes with your heels.You wont need to travel of course,i will.

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